Ali Guevara
Homeowners have no idea that the task of distributing menus can be so difficult, nor that it requires sophistication, expertise, and years of experience. There is a particular art to treating the menu, a certain way of placing it in letterboxes, and this art requires arduous months of practice, running around, and skill. The old man (the same one who rushed outside brandishing a broom and threatening me with the police if he ever saw a menu in his house) hadn’t known I had given the matter careful, even exhaustive, consideration before pushing a menu through his letterbox, just as the thirty-year-old who set his dog on me didn’t know it was I who had avoided his dog’s teeth when I pushed the menu through his letterbox. Chief among all the arts and rituals of Menu Distribution is that the clothing worn for it must be comfortable, first and foremost: for example, jeans are in no way suitable. Neither are blazers. Tracksuits are very comfortable to move in, as are trainers. Sometimes I ki